Me. At least after what I've been through.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
