When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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