Moan for me like Helen Keller
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Drunk is not a location!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
