Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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