u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
