you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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