i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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