if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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