You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
