The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
