I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
