Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize