i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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