im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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