I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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