Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
