Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
