i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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