2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize