Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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