those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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