Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
