At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's great music for shaving your balls
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
