You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
