i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
