Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i think im in europe. pls send help
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
