Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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