And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
