Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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