its not stalking. its research.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
