Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
