when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
