Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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