you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
