I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
