Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's never too late to be topless.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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