good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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