She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize