forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
