I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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