I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
