they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am spending my child support on dildos
i think i have herpe
just one?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
