You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
