It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
