One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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