We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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