it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dick very happy bro
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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