If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize