I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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