ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize