GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
