Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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