I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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