Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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