**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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