Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
