"it" just moved
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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