Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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