The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
