I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
