I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I can text with my tongue
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
